Dear Headteacher,

I am writing to inform you that I have recently published a new guide, What I wish my parents or carers knew: A guide for parents on managing children’s digital lives.

Supporting children’s safety is a shared responsibility between families, schools and wider society. For parents and carers, this responsibility has become increasingly complex as children’s lives are now deeply intertwined with the digital world. Many parents face difficult decisions about how to balance protecting children from online harm with enabling access to spaces that are now central to learning, socialising and play.

The last time I published a guide like this, The things I wish my parents had known: Young people’s advice on talking to your child about online sexual harassment, in December 2021, it was to help parents and carers navigate difficult conversations about sexual harassment online. This guide is different in scope, in recognition of the complex, rapidly evolving landscape in which children – and parents – are navigating. It focuses on the challenge of managing children’s everyday online habits.

This guide was written with the direct involvement of children in England. It is a reflection of their views. My office visited schools to speak to teenagers, and spoke to my Youth Ambassadors and Youth Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) Panel to get their expertise on what works and what doesn’t work between parents or carers and children in the 21st Century.

When I speak to children about what they would do differently when it comes to being online, with the benefit of hindsight, I ask them: would they give a smartphone to their own teenager? Almost unanimously, they tell me no. They want to be protected from it as long as possible.

As educators and leaders, you play a vital role in supporting parents and carers to navigate these challenges. Responses to my recent school survey show just how concerned school leaders are about their children’s safety online, despite most already taking steps to limit or ban devices from the classroom. Children are clear that they value firm, informed and protective boundaries when adults have concerns about the content they are accessing online.

As parents, carers, and educators, our job must begin and end with our children’s care and safety. It’s what they expect and what they want from you.

As one young person told me: “Don’t be afraid to be firm… If you are worried [that] your child is seeing harmful content and you don’t know what they’re watching and it’s affecting the behaviour, just take it that you know best – they don’t.”

I hope this guide will be a useful resource for your school community, and I encourage you to share it with staff and parents where appropriate.

Yours sincerely,

Dame Rachel de Souza
Children’s Commissioner